Don't ask why. I need someone to invent an aerosol cocaine antidote. Sometimes self-care doesn't have to be a bubble bath. Sometimes self-care can mean drinking yourself into a stupor or beating up that person who really needed it.
Category: Humor
There’s cracker crumbs all over my sheets
I would kick myself out of bed, but then I'd be lying on the floor.
Ellen’s Dogs Denounce Her
Ellen Degeneres' dogs joined the chorus of voices decrying her personality problems saying, "We were forbidden to look at her." "She used to put us in the trunk of the car instead of letting us ride on the seats." and "Portia is being held hostage." Asked what it was like to be Ellen's animal companions, … Continue reading Ellen’s Dogs Denounce Her
Untitled
Dealing with a mental health resource made me consume the sodas and chips I was saving and not cook the fresh tuna in the refrigerator cause . . . urghhhh! Cause! And apparently spend three hours researching and writing an email about it with one finger on an android. And then something else happened, causing … Continue reading Untitled
How important is glowing?
Cause I told my date my face as covered with snail slime and he didn't respond well. Emily Ratatouille knows a lot about skin because she shows most of hers on a daily basis.
New Rule
It's not a news story if a rapper is cheating. It's a news story if they're not.
Spell It Correctly:
G👿👿gle Hellflames optional
No, You Prove You Are Human
When websites say prove you are human, it brings up so many things. What about people that aren't human? Cause I know some. What about non-human entities? Doesn't that discriminate against robots? Speaking of who's not a person: When you get to your block and turn the car radio down. Cause apparently the homes on … Continue reading No, You Prove You Are Human
I’m Saying No To The Dress
Cause It's Like That 